Mirror Dreams
by Hiryuko Ryugu
Summary: What is more frightening, the past or future? For Kikyou it's both. As she struggles with her job, she gets lost in her own identity. Is there really someone for her, or was she just not meant for this world?
1. Reflection

bearmoon: First person to post a fanfic for the group Kikyou's Arrows. IT's a small little group focused on Kikyou from Inuyasha. If you're into Kikyou, I'd suggest you to join Kikyou's Arrows. Just check out the web link on our bio page. Also, this first chapter is told in Kikyou's pov, in case you get confused.

Mirror Dreams

Chapter One: Reflection

I suppose no one ever thinks they can really reach their goals. When I was younger I was determined to. If I had known then that I would be selling myself to survive, I never would have allowed my life to continue. I guess this is why we can't foresee our own futures.

Last night was one of my usual customers. I woke this morning to the restless flapping of my curtains in the morning breeze. I threw on my silky crimson robe to close the window, my steps soft and gentle so that my customer would not be awoken by unpleasant sounds. As I lowered the latch, my eyes drifted to the snowy scenery before me. So quiet and calm. Yet it was so dead, like I had been for the last three years; living for the pleasure of others, never for my own. As I turned towards the hallway that lead to the bedroom, my gaze landed on the silver mirror hanging in the living room. I stood before with a blank stare. The reflection of the woman in the mirror was not me. Her eyes were an icy blue, colder than the snow outside. Her raven hair was silken, yet unkempt, complimenting her rose lips and pale skin. There was no life behind that face, in the woman in the mirror. Just a person living day by day with no expectations. And I wonder if I will ever see the other woman who used to reside in the mirror instead.

I shake my head, clearing my thoughts. How silly of me to think that people reside in the mirror. Just me, Kikyou. The vixen. The temptress. The lifeless one. The cold-hearted bitch. I shrug these thoughts from my mind, slipping into bed beside a man I have no feelings for, nor whom I wish to care for, to greet him with a smile when he wakes.

Yet still my restless thoughts wonder if there ever will be a person I can care for. I wonder this as I slip back into my abyss of dreamless sleep, beside a stranger, in a cold, lifeless house in the city of love.

Yes it was short, but I intended it to be that way. It's just a sample chapter. If anyone wants be to continue, please leave a review.


	2. Different Image

Welcome to chapter 2 of Mirror Dreams. Please go right ahead and read, but don't forget to review!

**Mirror Dreams**

**Chapter Two: Different Image**

Kikyou slowly walked under L'Arc de Triomphe, her black heels clicking on the slick, wet cobblestone. The clacks were rhythmic yet hollow. The area itself was quite empty for being a tourist location. Most has retreated to indoors, avoiding the chilly winds and snow that had kicked up these past weeks.

Kikyou wrapped her red scarf tighter around her face, burying her nose in her own aroma. The wind found loose strands of hair to tease as she enveloped herself tighter in her black coat.

'Another dreary day in Gay Paris.' She thought to herself, quickening her step.

**9**

Kikyou entered a little café/bar that was close to L'Arc, warmed by the promise of hot tea and a blazing fire towards the far end of the flat, accompanied by two comfy chairs.

A man behind the bar counter waved to her, "Bonjour Madamoiselle Kikyou! C'est une autre jour pliene. Would you like something to heat you up on this lifeless morning?"

Kikyou nodded, "A steaming Ginseng please. Is Naraku here?" she asked as she draped her scarf and coat on the coat rack. Her layered burgundy skirt swirled about her as she adjusted her cream colored blouse.

"Oui. He's over in the back by the fire. Came in about five minutes before you. I'll send you tea back there."

Kikyou waved once more in thanks as she strode towards the welcoming fire. True that one of the three men she despised most was sitting there as well, but she could care less. She had learned in the last three years that your own comfort could be adjusted to the situation.

She flopped into one of the fluffy chairs, absorbing the heat from the flames in the hearth. Her ice-blue eyes settled on the man across from her. His wavy black hair seemed to shine like obsidian in the fire's light. His deep violet eyes were dark, cold enough to rival Kikyou's. The two glared at each other, both waiting for the other to give in.

"And how was my little temptress last night?"

"Cold... You know Naraku, when you said you would be sending men to me, I did not think you expected me to turn boys into men."

"And?"

"Luckily, I was able to talk some sense into the poor boy. I can't-"

"Damnit Kikyou!"

Kikyou kept her gaze on him, raising her voice just enough so she could keep her power in the conversation, "I said I talked sense into him. I didn't say I went without reward. For me, everything costs something."

"Kikyou...I didn't hire you to be a therapist." Naraku commented, cradling his head in his hand.

"Naraku...I didn't take this job to play with children. What is with your recent customers?"

Naraku waved his hand absently. Kikyou sighed as a waiter approached with her tea. She took it, then sipped with pursed lips. Naraku stood.

"Kikyou, I have a few things to tell you."

"Hmm?"

"First off, I have some regulars who are requesting you this week."

Kikyou nodded, "Send them over whenever...Just...not at the same time. I do not want to deal with that kind of commotion. No one under 20 either."

"Second, I need you to run some favors for me down at the club."

"Fine, but only singing, and only for a night. I don't need to have a bad image like the rest of your girls. That's why I'm you best worker. I keep the mystery even after the end."

"Finally," Naraku shook his head, she never failed him, "Muso's coming to Paris. I need you to pick him up from the airport."

He gave a satisfied smirk as a clatter of china was heard. He stepped over the mess, closer to Kikyou, "Here's the information. Don't forget him either."

Naraku strolled towards the exit, nodding towards the barkeep. Kikyou stared at the spilt tea. Her pupils were so small, they seemed to have no life at all. Muso was visiting? And that bastard wanted her to pick up his brother bastard? Life was just one cruel joke.

"Madamoiselle Kikyou? Are you alright?" the barkeep asked.

"Yes. I'm fine."

**9**

Kikyou opened the door to her empty home. The oval mirror in the hallway. The black leather furniture on hard wood floors. Cold and empty, yet classy and appealing. She dropped her shopping bags on the counter in the kitchen then walked down the hall to her vanity. She stopped as she took in her image in the mirror. She sat down then applied her make up. It was nothing. She thought, for a second, there was something there.

She paused and looked again. Her frowning reflection stared back at her. Tactfully she twisted her hair up in an intricate hairstyle and smiled. Kikyou's fingertips caressed the mirror. Muso was coming to visit, without saying why. Next thing she'd know, Inuyahsa would waltz into her vanity room and swoon her.

This thought of course was ridiculous. Mainly because Inuyasha was-

Kikyou rested her head on her vanity table, feeling sobs gripping her heart. She wished over and over she had never fallen in love the first time. The second time was unexpected and even more painful than the first. Yet the mere memory of both brought her to the edge. She hated those dead feelings, which made her hate herself more.

Kikyou straightened, then glared at the mirror. The reflection showed a cool, calm woman, mystery floating around her. She nodded in satisfaction. Now, time to pick up the brother of "King Naraku".

**9**

Outside, a pair of golden eyes watched the woman who sat in front of the vanity. The eyes closed as the man pushed his silver hair over his shoulder.

**9**

Maybe this is better, maybe not. I do not know. Tell me what you think and please review! I suppose you guys will know who the golden-eyed man is, but I'll leave you guessing.

**Review Responses**

Chibi-kikyou: thank you so much for being the first reviewer! Although, you've been the only reviewer, your review is very much appreciated! All hugs to chibi-kikyou!


	3. Looking Glass

Me again! This chapter's going to be a little longer than the last ones. Each time I write one for this story they get longer and longer! That's good, right? Please Review! As an extra note, I do not own any Inuyasha characters or Starbucks, although I do go there quite often.

**Mirror Dreams**

**Chapter Three: Looking Glass**

Kikyou was still glaring at her image in the mirror when the doorbell rang. Reluctantly she pulled herself from her personal staring contest to answer the door. She refused to let her eyes catch the mirror in the hall as she opened the door. Before her stood a tall man in his mid 20's with sleek silver hair and golden eyes. She hesitated for a moment before she responded.

"You're late Sesshoumaru." she scoffed, turning towards the kitchen.

He raised an eyebrow in distaste, closing the door before following after her, "I didn't have to come," He stated flatly. Kikyou spun her back to him to unpack the neglected groceries. Sesshoumaru continued, "But you called me to go with you."

Kikyou stiffened her back. "Don't push it, Sesshoumaru. Like you said, you didn't have to come. Besides, I doubt you'd let me go alone to pick him up." She teased, a weak attempt to loosen her own tension, it was no shock to her that his face remained unchanged.

Kikyou sighed, knowing very well that he wasn't going to make any effort to soothe her, "Well, let's go."

Kikyou gazed out the window of Sesshoumaru's black jaguar, lost in the fathoms of her mind. There was opera music playing softly in the sleek car, adding to her poise. Sesshoumaru shifted his eyes for a moment from the road to Kikyou. Her black lacy dress gave her milky skin an angelic aura. Looking how she did, she could really pass as the heartless yet luring temptress she had been known as, stealing hearts of many, loosing her own to none. That must have been one main factor why she was hired by Naraku.

She seemed so distant staring out the window, oddly beautifully wilted on the black leather seats. He pondered over which memories were pulling her further into past times and pain. Very rarely did he see Kikyou show emotion or lose control over her senses; she gave the impression of always being cool and collected, knowing exactly how to twist a situation to her advantage. Only three times had she ever really showed what was the really image in the looking glass.

Sesshoumaru's eyes lingered on Kikyou for a brief moment before clenching his jaw and returned his eyes to the road.

"Say...Sesshoumaru, did I ever tell you about the snow?" she asked, turning her frosty stare upon him. Her eyes were glossy as if holding back tears while loose strands of hair framed her face. Her head was tilted slightly, but her focus was sharp and her question direct.

Once more, Sesshoumaru shifted his eyes between her and the road, rotating his head slightly in her direction. "The snow?"

She nodded solemnly.

Sesshoumaru shook his head, his silver mane rippling from the subtle movement, "No."

Kikyou twisted to face the window once more. "One day, I should tell you about the snow...and the mirror too..."

Sesshoumaru was deeply interested, but kept his eyes on the road and focused on the problems that may lay ahead.

Kikyou and Sesshoumaru waited in dismay for Muso outside an airport Starbucks. Both drank their orders through pursed lips, grateful for the other's company. Muso alone was a two-man job; after being on a plane flight for some odd hours required much talent and patience. Kikyou felt a pang as his dreaded voice rang through the airport.

"Kikyou! How sweet, you came to see me."

Kikyou and Sesshoumaru both grimaced impulsively.

"Hey, you two, here I was expecting a warm welcome and instead I crashed head on into two glaciers!"

Kikyou desperately tried to remember what had attracted her to this imbecile. "Are you done with your idiotic remarks, Muso? I don't exactly have a free schedule."

"Yes, yes, of course, Kikyou. I even grabbed my luggage before I came to you, my dear."

Kikyou's eyes grew colder as Muso followed Sesshoumaru. She followed but lingered behind, feeling a sharp pain in her chest.

"So, Sesshy, I hear you took in some dirty orphan girl. I bet she's a real snob and always needing your attention. I heard she cries when she's not with you, thinks you're her mom or something, is it true?"

"No, and it's Sesshoumaru. Never call me by such a lowly name again."

"Alright, alright. You two want to stay over at Naraku's place for a while?"

Sesshoumaru glanced over his shoulder at Kikyou, who still trailed behind, "Perhaps."

**Flash Backs**

Kikyou stood serenely, watching the snow fall around her, her icy blue eyes looking up as if an angel's hand would reach out and touch her.

"Kikyou? My god! What are you doing out here in the cold?!" Muso stressed, rubbing her arms and shoulders just in case she was cold.

She smiled kindly at him, "I'm fine, Muso. I was just remembering...and wondering..."

"Wondering what?"

"If snowflakes are broken pieces from angels' hearts...It's such a beautiful sight...and yet, they can be harmful and so cold."

"Who told you that?"

"My mother...she always said things like that. Sometimes I think the snowflakes are the falling pieces of my heart, but I know that can not be because I could never be an angel."

"Apparently you haven't taken a good amount of time in front of the looking glass, my dear. You're the most beautiful angel I have ever seen."

Kikyou smiled, twirling about in the fresh powder. Her black tresses whirled about her as she spun. Feeling the ground begin to rock from her dizziness, she let herself collapse onto her back in the snow, her hair sprawled about her.

She heard Muso give a loud chuckle as he fell beside her. They shared in each other's laughter for a while until Muso pulled Kikyou into his arms. Their laughter faded as they both sat in the cold snow, watching the snowflakes pile up around them.

"Muso! What the hell is wrong with you?!" Kikyou snapped, "If you think I'll be yours forever, you're wrong."

Kikyou quickly freed her wrist from his grip and grabbed her coat. Muso rushed towards her and grab her upper arm.

"Let me go!" She warned him, venom deep in her voice, "I already told you no, Muso. It's over. It's been over for weeks now. I can't love you like I did him..." her voice grew silent.

"What the fuck is so special about this Inuyasha?"

Kikyou once more yanked her arm from his hand, "He never attacked me for talking to some stranger! You're too possessive, Muso. I could never truly love someone who was jealous of some stranger I passed on the street!" Kikyou felt love and hate pile up inside her. She felt her heart hammering inside her chest, it was louder than her boot heals on the hardwood floor. She halted in front of the door, "So please...for the both of us, before it really hurts someone..."

Tears were freely and openly falling from her eyes as Muso tenderly placed his hands on her shoulders, "I just don't understand why."

Kikyou bowed her head, her tears disappearing. She looked up at him once more, her face devoided of all emotion, "Please leave me alone..."

Muso's grip released and Kikyou left him silently without looking back. Muso simply watched in shock and anger. He fought his own thoughts, falling prey to jealously that she thought him unworthy...possessive. Never would he forget the name she had spoken of, this, Inuyasha. Never.

About an hour later, her feet had lead her to Sesshoumaru's work office. The instant he saw her, he knew this was the worst he had ever seen Kikyou and the third time she had broken down emotionally.

**End Flash Backs**

Kikyou waved as Sesshoumaru's car drove off, Muso still inside. To get away, she had used the excuse that she was expecting a client and couldn't back out at the last minute. Muso had given an odd vibe when she mentioned her client. Did he still harbor feelings for her?

Kikyou shook her head, clearing her mind. She really was expecting a client, although not as early as she had told the others. She went inside and finished putting away the rest of her groceries while breaking out ingredients for chocolate-dipped strawberries.

Two hours later she heard the doorbell. She set the strawberries on the coffee table in the living room then rushed to answer the door.

A young man with messy black hair stood before her. He was about twenty-one and easy on the eyes. His outfit was similar to that of a Japanese schoolboy uniform.

"You must be Miroku, correct? I'm Kikyou." She gave her usual prize-winning charm and held out her hand, giving off the aura of a gentle woman.

She noticed him hesitate as she touched his hand, "You can come in, I won't bite. Unless you want to get straight to buisness?"

"N-no. I was just a little surprised. I thought I was lost at first," he remarked as she lead him to the living room.

"That's understandable. It's very easy to get lost in this area. Would you like some champagne?"

"Oh, yes."

Kikyou poured him a glass then sat beside him. She raised her eyebrows as he merely drank the alcohol. She decided to engage in conversation, usually her clients were more comfortable when they felt they could be open to her. They conversed for half an hour yet he made no progressions, nor regressions. He was very mellow around her, and he told her about his high school days as an active player. She didn't mind talking, in fact she preferred it, but Naraku was riding her tail and she needed to pay for the food on her table.

"Hey, Miroku?"

He turned to face her, "Yes?"

"I've had countless men, some experienced, some not. You've told me yourself that this isn't your first time, but you don't seem to be interested in what's going on here."

"Yeah-Well! I mean-" Miroku stumbled over his words.

Kikyou smiled as she placed her fingers over his lips. "So you have this great girl, huh? Why don't you tell me about her?"

For the next hour, Kikyou listened patiently as Miroku told her about the coral of his heart, Sango.

"So why are you here? You have a woman who seems to really care about you and yet here you are. Are you so conceited that you believe she won't please you properly?"

Miroku blushed. "No! Th-that's not why. I'm afraid that I'm not good enough for her. She deserves someone who deserves her. I've been too fortunate, and I feel guilty about it."

"And you came here because...?" Kikyou interrogated, searching for his answer, "Miroku, you should go to her and tell her how you feel, not make a mistake you're going to regret. Some actions tend to be more drastic than others and can't be undone. Trust me, I know. If you want what's best for Sango, then you'll go home and talk to her."

Miroku stared at Kikyou, agape. He nodded, "Thank you."

She watched him stand up and stride towards the door, but he turned around, "Miss Kikyou?"

Kikyou tilted her head in curiosity. "Yes?"

"Could...I bring Sango around here sometime?"

Kikyou nodded in response. He smiled and finally left confidence on his brow. She stretched then lay back on the couch, her hair falling out of the twists she had put up earlier. Restless, she rose and walked over to the mirror in the hall.

Muso's words echoed in her head, _"Apparently you haven't taken a good amount of time in front of the looking glass, my dear. You're the most beautiful angel I have ever seen."_

Kikyou gazed into the mirror. She saw a pale raven-haired woman, with icy-blue eyes crying on the inside. Tears that never showed yet always flowed deep within the crevasses of her broken heart. Kikyou grabbed her coat and slipped on her heels. The snow was starting to fall. Her face locked into a scowl of determination.

After aimlessly wandering, she had arrived at La Madeleine church, covered with snow. She hadn't been here in months. She sat on the steps and brushed the snow off her coat. Her gaze wandered to the sky pondering over her mistakes of the past. Her errors in love. She imagined the snow really was the broken pieces of her heart, trying to stick back together, to fill in the cracks.

**Flash Back**

Kikyou felt as if she were drowning. Is this what a broken heart feels like? She felt cold even though she was in a fluffy white coat. Her chills were quickly replaced by red hot anger.

"Did you ever really love me, Inuyasha? Or was that just some way you got your kicks?"

"Kikyou, please-"

"No! Who betrayed who, Inuyasha? If this is how you really feel, I respect that, but I swear, if you ever come back to me again...I...I never will forgive you, and my blood will be on your hands!"

Inuyasha gave one pleading glance towards her as he walked down the steps of La Madeleine church, towards a woman with mid-length black hair and innocent blue eyes. The woman ran towards Inuyasha, crying tears for Kikyou, tears of guilt.

"Inuyasha, I'm so sorry!" she blurted.

"Don't cry, Kagome. It's not your fault."

"But! But...I feel so guilty."

"I said it wasn't your fault, okay! I'm the one who loved two women."

**End Flash Back**

Kikyou felt as if her soul was drifting away with the snowflakes. A breeze kicked up, taunting both her hair and the snow to fly.

"Kiykou?"

Kikyou turned to the call of her name, shocked by the one who stood beside her with a smile she had long forgotten.

**End Chapter Three**

Yep, so thanks to Bunnyasha for the Miroku idea, it might not have been as she told me, but I'm still giving her credit for giving me the idea. Please review and tell me how good this is or how much it sucks. Thanks for reading! One more thing, truck loads of thanks to my friend Angela. She did a lot of editing and I wanted to send a special thank you her way! THANK YOU!!!

**Review Responses**

Chibi-Kikyou: Thank you so much for feeling so strongly about my fic! I do have to wonder where all the Kikyou fans went though. I hope I answered some of your questions! See ya next time!

Immortal-Vengence: Thank you for reviewing my story! Do you really think it's original? Also, it's always cool to meet other Kikyou fans.

Bunnyasha: First off, watch your mouth young lady! Send off, what makes you think I would tell you anything. Third, I can't read minds, I just wrote down this story before and I didn't even know you had an idea like this anyways so nyaa! Sorry I messed up the Miroku part though, maybe it's okay. Dunno. I don't want to spend any more time on it. But thanks for reviewing.

Light-of-Halo: Thanks for reading my fic and I really hope you do check out Kikyou's Arrows. That'd be soo cool! Anyways, I did base Kikyou's eye color on the manga, I like the coloration of them, so subtle, yet so cold. It's important later on as well, so keep that in mind, kay? Light-of-Halo


End file.
